Martin Crane is without a doubt one of Frasier's most beloved characters, especially with his ability to deliver some great lines. Sometimes he's witty, sometimes he's unconventionally wise, but sometimes his best quotes are some of the funniest jokes in the show. What makes Marty such a great character is simply how familiar and fun his eccentric and crotchety nature is, and it certainly makes for great humor.
Marty has several moments throughout the series where his antics rival that of his snooty socialite sons, but one of his biggest strengths is his ability to turn a comical phrase. From the misadventures of his two boys to a quip about his beloved dog, Martin Crane always has something to say.
“Poppity-Pop-Pop-Pop!”
Eddie is one of Marty's favorite subjects, and it's not uncommon for him to lay down some comedic anecdotes about his beloved terrier. Any dog owner can attest to their furry friends getting into some mischief, but it's equal parts funny and endearing to hear Marty talk about Eddie going to town on some bubble wrap.
What makes the line so funny is the loud and laughing delivery, making his sense of delight infectious. Anyone who's ever owned a pet can easily be guilty of this same routine, which helps make Marty more relatable.
“Well Hello, Chunky.”
In retrospect, perhaps having a candy bar name that can double as an insult might be a little too easy. Still, both Martin and Roz make ample use of it while trying to stave away boredom in a hospital waiting room. The fact that Frasier continues to be in the right place at the right time is just the icing on the cake.
It might be an easy setup, but Martin is one of those characters that know how to stick the landing almost every time. The fans certainly won't be complaining.
“Not That Four-Legged Maris”
Everyone in the series has had at least one good potshot at Maris at some point, but Marty's are the stuff of legends. Niles' shrewish ex-wife has done more than a few things to earn her reputation. When he adopts a skittish whippet in search of companionship, the similarities are too good to up.
On one hand, it may just be comparing the weird little creature to an equally finicky woman. On the other, this might be Martin and the show's subtle way of calling her something a tad more derogatory. Either way, there's no denying that it works.
“No, Maris Is A Little Strange. Lilith Is Weird.”
Maris isn't the only ex-wife to get a little shade thrown by Marty, and it's hard to say he's wrong on this one. With a name like Lilith, it's difficult not to think Frasier's dark and often-cold ex is more than a little bit bizarre. By her presence alone, Lilith gives off some serious wicked witch vibes, and Marty's just putting it nicely.
Compared to other monikers, titles, and descriptions, Marty's remark here is only scratching the surface. This line is certainly a case of "it's funny because it's true". As Marty proves, sometimes the simple approach is the best one.
“When I Made This Tape, I Was 64 Years Old. But Now, I’m Dead.”
The show dealt with some seriously deep issues such as aging and death. It's still always nice to see Marty make light of such heavy material in his way. His remark while being filmed for "Cranes of future generations" is one of his many humorous ways of looking at death.
Yes, he's being dramatically morbid, but he's not one to stray away from darker humor. Marty is a character who knows he's getting old and that death is inevitable, but it doesn't mean he has to be morose about it.
His Daphne Impression
Marty works as a great foil against both Frasier and Niles, but some of his best work comes out when paired up with Daphne. In the leap year episode, the family is trying to decide how to spend their extra day. When Daphne continuously hems and haws about what to do, Marty has to interject.
Mustering up the best Manchester accent he can, Marty tears into her going on about her hair, her indecisiveness, and even throwing in a line about Grammy Moon. It might be just a touch mean, but that doesn't mean it isn't hilarious.
“A Grown Man’s Obsession With A Sponge?”
It's remarkable how often Daphne's presence is the glue that keeps the Crane men from absolutely mauling each other. When left alone in the apartment too long together, it's not uncommon for the two to butt heads over one thing or another. And it's not uncommon for Frasier's fussy ways to set Martin off.
Granted, anyone getting so upset over a sponge left in the sink might be a little bit too high-strung, but Martin's retort to his son's needless neat-freakery is both funny and perfectly natural. Though it's not nearly as bad as his fear of toast sweat, it shows that Marty isn't afraid to stand up against Frasier's more perfectionist nature.
“You Know What Must’ve Happened? My Hot And Foamy Must’ve Exploded.”
The only way this quote is complete is by having Daphne add on "He was a detective, you know." but it's still a great line nevertheless. From the titular Hot And Foamy to his remote caddy and other things, Martin is no stranger to cheesy gizmos. This one just happens to be the most memorable.
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Anything that heats up shaving cream and also cooks delicious Chinese vegetables has to be worthy of more than a few laughs, and Marty delivers on that notion. Once more, it's the way he says his line that makes it so memorable, if not a little strange out of context.
“I Don’t Wanna Watch Myself Makeout With Elton John.”
To be fair, there are probably multitudes of people who share the sentiment. The image of Niles and Daphne getting romantic while dressed as Marty and Elton John for a Halloween party is one most fans probably won't be forgetting anytime soon. And neither will Marty.
It's absurd, it's relatable, it's funny, and it's just the kind of thing fans could expect from someone like Marty. His gift for cutting right to the chase serves him well in this surreal observation, Halloween costumes or not.
“You Taste That And Tell Me That’s Not Better Than A Woman.”
There is unarguably no better example of Marty's comedic potential than when he's stoned off his kiester after consuming a pot brownie over the holiday season. The retired cop goes through all the stereotypical hoops associated with marijuana consumption Frasier, but there are few better moments than the one involving barbecue pudding chips.
While most sensible viewers might disagree that this pot-induced flavor combination is "better than a woman," there's no denying it's one of his goofiest utterings. All the more reason for fans to love the old guy.