The film a poignant and occasionally heartwreching movie, filled with interesting takes on grief, music, and the purpose of life and love.
The movie has a number of significant quotes that stand out for how well they capture the particular pain of grief and the ways that Lennie tries to control hers. These quotes are a mix of angry, hopeful, and poetic, and all have the opportunity to bring audiences further on their viewing journey.
How To Live
"I Want To Live Like Bailey Did, With Daring And Spirit And So Much Joy."
This quote captures Lennie's determination to live the life her sister would have wanted. She explains that she had always lived a life following the paths her sister crossed, so without her sister's lead to follow, she has to live with the same enthusiasm Bailey did.
It's not unusual for those who have lost someone close to them to wonder what life that person would have wanted them to live, so this quote will be relatable to anyone who has wondered how to live through grief.
Changing Vocabulary
"I Hate The Past Tense."
This quote is said in reference to Lennie's relationship but is also applicable to her sister. There's nothing more painful than having to self-edit 'is' to 'was' when talking about someone you love, but it's a habit Lennie has had to become used to.
She lives a life where her sister should be there, and every time she uses the past tense, it reminds her that she isn't anymore. The same pain transfers to her grieving her relationship, both of which forced her to reference the past when she wants to talk about the present. It's part of what makes this Apple TV+ movie so good.
A Burst of Anger
"I Am So Sick Of Toby. Of You. Of Death. I Just Want To Be In Love. And In Life."
After all of the loss and the grieving, Lennie just wants a chance to live. But she feels like she's trapped in a world of death, a world where her sister's ing controls everything that she does and feels. If not for Bailey's death, for instance, she believes her relationship with Joe never would have had difficulties.
It's completely natural to get angry while grieving and is even one of the classic stages of grief. It's important for Lennie to let out her anger to get to a place of grudging acceptance, which is where she is heading by the end of the movie.
Relating To Each Other's Grief
"Don’t Think It’s Possible To Get It Unless You’re In It."
Bailey's boyfriend Toby and Lennie get a little too close to each other over the course of this movie, and the reason is that they understand each other's grief in a way nobody else does. They both feel like their whole world was shattered apart, and it's hard for them to spend time with and relate to people whose worlds are continuing forward.
With that being said, it was still wrong of Lennie to kiss Toby while dating Joe, but it is understandable with everything she was going through.
Seeing Others' Grief
"You Act Like You’re The Only One In This House Who Lost Somebody … And Just So You Know, I Don’t Know Who I Am Without Her Either."
Lennie spends the vast majority of the movie either alone or with Toby because she thinks that he is the only person who understands the Earth-shattering grief she feels. However, when she finally slows down enough to look at the people around her, she finds that her grandmother was grieving too, having lost both her daughter and her granddaughter to the same disease.
It's important for Lennie to recognize the pain of those around her, so audiences were bound to be happy when the grandmother spoke up to make Lennie see the truth.
Life Goes On
"To My Astonishment, Time Didn’t Stop With Her Heart."
One of the most confusing parts of grief is that it doesn't stop everybody's world the same way it stops yours. As Lennie says, people kept living their lives, and the world kept turning, even without Bailey. This quote captures that confusion perfectly, questioning how life keeps going even after somebody has died.
Lennie's world stopped, and the movie shows her struggling to start it up again without betraying her sister along the way, a strong show of grief on screen.
A Funeral Speech
"It’s Such A Colossal Effort Not To Be Shattered By What Was Lost But To Be Enchanted By What Was."
At Bailey's funeral, the emphasis was on celebrating her life, rather than mourning her loss. This is a common idea and is especially compelling for those who lived their lives enthusiastically, but the quote also appreciates how difficult it is to feel joy when sadness is crushing a person alive.
Lennie's grandmother perfectly captures those two ideas and the struggle between them when she speaks at the funeral, and it is a good synopsis of Lennie's grief warring with her fond remembrance of her sister.
Grief Is A House...
"Grief Is A House Where No One Can Protect You, Where The Younger Sister Will Grow Older Than The Older One, Where The Doors No Longer Let You In Or Out."
This is one of the most heartbreaking lines in the film and is part of a larger poem about how grief functions. The idea of living without an older sibling, and living longer than they ever did, is crushing because it breaks the understanding of the world. Older siblings should always be older, but if they die young, it will forever change the dynamic they have with their siblings, who will live into adulthood.
This dynamic is perfectly captured in the house metaphor and is sure to make attentive audiences cry in a movie that perfectly portrays grief.
An Optimistic Turn
"I Learned This Really Terrible Thing Recently, That The Absolutely Worst Thing You Can Imagine In Life Can Happen At Any Time. But, Today, I Also Realized That The Absolute Best Thing You Can Imagine Can Happen At Any Time Too."
The film opens with the idea that the worst thing in the world can happen anytime, an idea that captures the shock of sudden death and sets up the movie to have a negative tone, with audiences always looking for the moment when the worst thing will happen. Lennie modifies this idea as she gets closer to Joe, though, which helps to shift the tone to a more optimistic one.
Terrible things happen. There's no way around that. But wonderful things happen too, and they can come at any time.
Living With Grief
"Grief Is Forever, Isn’t It? It’s Not Gonna Go Away. She’s Gonna Die Again And Again Every Day For The Rest Of My Life, Isn’t She?"
The popular conception of grief is that it is a temporary stage of life, where a person grieves for a set number of weeks or months and then moves on. However, as Lennie discovers over the course of the movie, that's not how it really works. Grief continues forever and can hit at the most unexpected of moments.
This movie captures the idea well here with one of the best quotes about grief, where Lennie tries to live life again without grief before eventually realizing that grieving is part of living and that it will continue to exist alongside her happiness forever, as a natural part of life and honoring of how much she loved her sister.
